It is no secret that 50% of marriages in the United States of America end in divorce. I believe it is true that some people ought not to stay married to each other. I believe this whether there are children involved or not. But I also believe that many more marriages could be saved if the partnering spouses took their jobs seriously. The initial wide-eyed love-lust wears off very quickly especially if children come along soon. In courtship we all pretend to be someone other than who we are. In marriage the courtship mode wears thin and who we actually are soon appears. Sometimes this is a good thing -- sometimes this is a bad thing.
Suppose you want to save your marriage by trying to be a better spouse. Now this inspiration can fall to either husband or wife, or both. Hopefully it will occur to each of the partners. Well, what is one way to help you be a better spouse and therefore help to save your marriage? One answer is the Spiritual Circuit. The Spiritual Circuit consists of a spiritual wire running from you, attaching to all three of the nodes of the circuit, and that wire then passing back "into you." When this Spiritual Circuit is faithfully maintained and used on a daily basis, you cannot help but be a better spouse and, therefore, you may even contribute to a better marriage.
The first node of the Spiritual Circuit to which to attach the wire that runs out of you, is the acquire node. What do you need to acquire? You need to acquire knowledge of what it means to be a spouse, knowledge of what it means to be in a committed relationship, knowledge of what your spouse would like to have in a relationship. How do you acquire such knowledge? Reading about marriage, reading about being a good spouse, asking professional marriage counselors, actually asking your spouse what he or she really needs from this relationship. This is just a short list of what you can do to acquire knowledge to help you be a better spouse.
The second node the Spiritual Circuit is to attach the wire from the acquire node to the rewire node. When you have learned what you think you need to know about being a better spouse, and remember this learning never ceases, you put into practice what you have learned. But your practices of the past have not been what you have probably learned recently through the acquire node. So a change needs to take place within your brain, literally. You have to make new neural pathways to carry out the knowledge that you have acquired for your daily married life. Yes, do not despair, your brain is actually quite capable of rewiring itself over time as you put into practice what you have learned. Simply put, it's like developing new, good habits that replace bad, old habits.
The third node the Spiritual Circuit is to attach the wire from the rewire node to the inspire node. This is where you are genuinely upfront with your spouse about the changes you wish to make in your part of the partnership of marriage. When the opportunity naturally presents itself, you carefully, thoughtfully, tactfully suggest that you are going to do such and such to be a better spouse. You see? You have put the responsibility upon yourself, not upon your spouse. For it is your responsibility to do as you say you will do. And your spouse will be inspired as he or she sees you doing what you say you will be doing, consistently and continually.
As your spouse sees you genuinely improving in the relationship, he or she may be inspired to do the same. That is the inspire node of the Spiritual Circuit.
Now, you must keep the circuit intact. The spiritual wire must run from yourself attach to the three nodes and run back to yourself. When you keep this spiritual circuit whole, the power of love will run through you continually and that power will be seen in your relationship daily.
What one idea can you take from this article and use today? What one piece of knowledge can you acquire today? What new habit can you develop in your relationship to improve it? Are you on the outlook for ways to inspire, agreeably, your spouse? All the best -- you deserve it.
Dr. Robert Henry Schwenk (Dr. Bob) is a retired clergy person who spent more than 38 years in full time service. His has been a lifelong quest to discover what makes individuals tick. He holds the Doctor of Ministry degree (D.Min.) from United Theological Seminary in Dayton, Ohio. His newest book "You Deserve To. . ." is at https://www.createspace.com/3372045 Use this discount code to get $3.00 off the retail: 3X7UJD7Q. Most of us grow up feeling undeserving--as if nothing we truly desire we have any right to. But we can break this habit and find ourselves believing that we deserve every legitimate thing or person in our lives. That we even deserve to be happy. You Deserve To . . . helps you discover ways to change you life for the better in this instant and for all your days. New website at http://www.themeaningoflifewithdrbob.com (Article number 0013)
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